This week i went out for my brand new sparkling part time job, and went for a police interview.

The police interview was a bit disappointing, in hindsight i didn’t manage to convey to them what i was trying to say and i think they have an impression of me that i didn’t want. Hope i can get the job though. During the interview i ended up in a room with other men with only their underwear on and we have to get into a bunch of positions, that … was a new experience. There were a lot of boring paper work and boring test and i even had to write an essay !

ffffuuuuuu-

I guess good thing i still keep up with reading once in a while so that wasn’t too bad.

After the police interview i was suppose to go to a life coach interview but i was so tired from my part time work and the interview that i decide to drag my half dead carcass back home instead for some much needed sleep.

I came, i conquered, i slept

Only reason why im so tired is because my sleep cycle is out of whack

So i finally went for the ceremony and became a citizenship, my old man has been bugging me forever about that so i’m glad i finally got it done and over with. Everyone had to went on stage to receive the certificate with their new identity card one by one, so when it finally got to me (i was the third last person in a line of 392) i rejoiced. Finally ! I shook hand with the minister of health and put on a smile and took a picture, it was kinda like graduation. I felt healthier after the hand-shake.

That day’s morning when i was getting ready to go out i couldnt find my      necktie, but i was cool about it thinking to myself screw that, im just going to go  ahead. But i chickened out and grabbed my secondary school necktie, on the    way there i thought to myself i can’t wear this ! What is there was someone from  my secondary school ! Oh God the humiliation !

Well things sort themselves out like they usually do and it turns out that there  was a rent-a-tie service there. After much deliberation i picked the red one, i gave  my money to the annoyed cashier and went about on my way.

I saw Lin An as i was heading to the toilet to adjust my tie, what a surprise ! We  talked a little and went to our seats. The conversation is as boring as this post    but it was great to see a familar face.

After that i rushed off to my gather with the classmates. Things went badly and in the end Phyllis and me were left deserted to survive on our own in this concrete jungle of overzealous shoppers and dangerously inexperienced skaterboys. Sometimes it gets hard to hang out with Phyllis, she has too much emotional baggage, feels like a quicksand around her. I feel like i shouldn’t be having fun with her and instead sit down and get her to get her life in order. Then i heard someone shouting my name and whao its my good old medic ! Feels good seeing your army friends here and there.

I clicked on nah

I also caught a glimpse of a new type of ipad i have never seen before, it feels like there is a different i-product every other week. Speaking of which the other day as i was laying down on my bed i suddenly occurred to me that holy crap ! I have a lot of i-products in my life ! How the hell did that happen ?

Oh right i went out to get them

Finally the next night i went to another old army friend’s house for Hari Raya, the event on facebook said it starts at 4pm so i arrived there around that time and realized that i was the only one there this early, in the end i had to loiter around for two hours for the rest of them to arrive.

Gawd i waited for so long that i  got a headache. Finally one by one they started arriving, but they insisted on waiting for one another and so we waited and waited. When i saw Halim i was shocked ! He has a goatee ! Man it ruined his innocent mischievous boy image he had going, he now looks more matured and less prone to committing stupid actions (he still does though).

After the dinner my host served us some tidbits in this awesome container tray thingy ! I adore the way the whole thing looks, the jar the tray the everything ! Man it was like i was hit by a truck and the medic came with a first aid kit to resuscitate me, except the truck was hunger, the medic was my friend and the first aid kit was the jar of cookie snacks.

Eventually it was time to leave. Oh and then i realized, one of the little toddlers running around one of them was his daughter. I saw the pictures of him and his daughter in his handphone a few time back when we were still in the army but today i finally met his daughter, it added a depth to him in my perception. This guy, this guy i know in the army already has a daughter !

Well anyway we passed by this place where this large group of people were celebrating Hari Raya too. There were a group of people on stage and they were playing simon say, i lol’d when simon say raise up your left hand, some of them raised their right.

Perhaps i keep things way too bottled up, and that i get angry over what people would say small issues. I’m probably one of those passive-agressive person. I just get so angry that scenarios and plans goes over my head on how to get payback. What is wrong with me ?

The most frustrating part is that since days has already passed there is pretty much not a lot i can do to get even, sometimes it is the smallest off-hand remark and i feel like my whole identity has been attacked. I have issues, i mean usually it’s the other way around right, you get angry and cool off after a few days but for me i am cool then after a few days i remember and get mad ! I must endeavour to find out what is going on with myself.

Writing this post kinda helps a little though, i feel calm already ! Quite therapeutic i say.

Whew so the whole YOG affair is finally done with, i gotta say i’m really going to miss the whole thing, helping out with the camera teams and watching countless rehearsals. Watching these young’uns coming here after school to pratice their routines makes me kind of nostagic, yeah, i’m getting old. I thought to myself whilst watching them – why didn’t i get myself into more of these types of event when i was young.

The show was okay i guess, although i find the closing rather lackluster. Whether the money the goverment spent was worth the entire affair or issues about the food, well i’m not going to go into that. We all have our own thoughts on that.

Heh i loved the lighting effects of the show though, the buildings to the back have all sort of light patterns on them during the show like these polka dots and green lasers. No one in the audience will see them of course, because who looks in the opposite direction of a performance anyway. OH WAIT I DO.

I thought the performance have way too many things going on in the same time, for example i’m watching these dance in the middle of the stage, but the dancers on the left are doing another dance and the ones on the right are doing another dance, then there are those at the secondary backstage doing their own things too. How the hell am i going to watch it all ?! (or am i suppose to ?)

I feel a bit sympathetic for the performers at the back part of the stage dubbed the “pool of reflection“, i feel that for the most parts people dont even look at them or they couldn’t if they were sitting towards the front because of how much lower it is compared to the front stage. Not the picture above though, the one above is for the closing ceremony where they revamped  the whole stage.

I particularly enjoyed the school of dances’ dances, and the break-dancing boys. The phoenix’s wings  and the boy running up with the olypmic flame was quite a nice touch. I felt that those giant puppets representing the singapore’s heritage was très très creepy though. Oh oh the dragon part ! I love that part too, just love how it’s body was made up of fishes.

… and fireworks ! fireworks everywhere. Some of the fireworks was way anti-climatic, its like this ball of light shoots up and then it reaches the highest point it can possibly go, you hold your breath and expect it to explode in a dazzling display of light and colour but oh wait fucking no ! it just doesn’t do anything and comes shooting back down. Nothing. I feel a sense of disappointment whenever i see fireworks like that. For the most part it was good. i just regretted not being able to take a picture with one in the background.

In any case, i enjoyed my time there. Feels bad though all the chicks just wanted to take picture with youth female athletics (but to be fair i feel the same way towards the female athletics) and i didn’t managed to take any pictures with the stars because i was busy settling the camera. They uploaded the key parts onto youtube too so people can check it out !

.. and thats the end of that.

What should have happened:

I’m sorry that was horrible, anyway i’ve decided to come blog again after a really really long time because i have no friends and life, so yeah the blog is like my imaginary friend, except its not imaginary or is it ?

I don't know what is real anymore

Just now i was at the float at just doing my job and my boss just walk in with this awesome shirt ! Its this black shirt and the front of it has like 9 boxes, each with a specific villain. There was Darth Vader, Agent Smith, a Zombie, Freddy Kruger, those mushrooms from Super Marioland, that enemy alien thing from Space Invaders, Godzilla and two more i forgot.

It was really cool and i felt like such a nerd or something for recognising all of them. Anyway it did managed to up the cool factor of my boss, but just by a little though, well at least he is not wearing his cap slanted that would have totally bring the score down. Let me try to google the shirt so you guys can see what i am talking about ….. nevermind is lazy

Only less furry, cute and tail

Oh oh i remember one more villain, the T-800 ! So that leaves one last one for remembering which i try and try to get the brain network department to find but i guess that particular file is gone.

Also today was a wasted day at the float. Sigh.

P.S Oh and i should mention at the same time i revived my old blog, K revived her’s too ? Isn’t it a freaky concidence ? Like the type where you are looking for someone and you walk into this room and whatdayaknow you friend just happens to be walking out and both parties hand were on the opposite side of the handle at the same time ! Which concidentally happened to me today too ! Anyway this is a good sign, it probably meant that some higher power support my going back to blogging. Well now that i look at it this is a pretty long P.S, what does P.S mean anyway ? I need to check that out later.

Just kidding but i always imagine that is what a mantis would do if given the chance. Well i’m no an expert in insectology or whatever it is but damn the mantis species sure looks badass ! And this is what this post is really about.

Enter the Mantis

Origins:

Now you probably know that the male species has testicals, but that doesnt say much because a wussy guy can have testis too. So how does one differentiate a real manly man that lift weights on one arm and get a tatoo on the other from that guy from american’s next top model since they both have testis ? (apart from physically because sometimes its not so obvious)

Seems relevant

Simple during puberty these paragons of mascuality and fire-pumped veins testicals go through another change and become manticals (kinda like how a woman’s breast gets bigger) or mantis for short.

Guy A :”Holy**** is that some manticals ?”
Guy B:” Its so **** manly, i just shaved my beard this morning but i think need to shave it now again ! ****”
Girl A:” I think i’m pregnant !”

Early civilisation being as wise as they were already knew this and recognizing how badass the mantis were gave them the name ‘mantis’, a subtle reference to badass manly men.

The many forms of the mantis

Now a mantis comes in all kind of forms.

This kind is probably the most recognizable kind, standard folded forearms, thin body thin legs, long body and weird head. Pretty standard stuff nothing special really.

…

But what about this  ?

D=

ARGH WHAT THE FUCKKJK

FUCKKKKKKKKKK GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK

LOL ‘kay how cute =3

oh GOD NOO NO FUCK BITCH NO

You see thats the thing with those mantis is that, they are highly predatorial and like to ambush their prey. Some species specialize in running after their prey like a bull and take them down, this variety lack the ability to climb plants and such though. A classical example of a mantis deadliness – One moment you are landing on a flower’s petal ready to suck some sweet nectar out for breakfirst and then you can’t, because you were decapitated one second ago. Generally the mantis strikes at such a quicker-the-light-speed-or-not speed by storing energy in the forearms and striking like a wind up racing car.

Fact: Awed by the deadly moves of a mantis, the ancient chinese has adopted the mantis into their kungfuology because they are so awesome, this is not surprising.

Pfft you don’t see a platypus getting any kind of link to physical fitness now do you ? Of course you dont !

Or do you ?

Sex of the mantis

The mantis takes sex very seriously. I’m sure most of you already know this but apparently the female mantis consumes the male mantis during/after sex depending on how good the sex is. This is remincent of humans, but in their case the biting of head is typically replaced with a more civilised approach like a simple break up or in some cases a more deadly approach like divorce maintenance fees is praticed (sometimes death is preferred).

But not everyone know that this might not truly be the case. Some has suggested that the female mantis bites the male mantis’s head off due to surrounding voyeur scientists eager to study how mantis breed, that it is infact the stress of being observed that causes the female mantis to have such deadly S&M tendacies.

Next time i shall blog about the mantis shrimp !

Sources:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mantis_religiosa.jpg

http://gallery.pethobbyist.com/index.php?cat=599

https://storeforknowledge.com/images/mantis.gif

http://www.gizmowatch.com/entry/tokyo-in-peril-monster-praying-mantis-robot-on-the-prowl/

http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2009/04/friday_weird_sex_blogging_-_lo.php

The 2 generation even comes with speaker, albeit not a very good one. Currently i have apps that checks what movie is available or are going to be released soon, gun sound mimicker, messenger-on-the-go, Strait Times, dog whistler and all kind of other craz … er creative apps !

Some of my bunkmates questioned me in their typical singlish accent, why don’t i just get an iphone ? Why ?

“Eh Dave, you quite stupid ah, just get an iphone la can do so much more somemore sia !”

“My esteemed friend to you i say nay, for it is the ipod touch that truly captured my eyes, consider if you would how much more liabilities combining a phone with a music player would bring, i know not of your habits but i would indulge myself in music at times where i were to leave my home. Imagine that if i were to use an iphone, i would have to charge it constantly, the battery would most likely drain at twice the rate. Consider this too, you would not usually turn your phone off would you now ? In this way it is like an MP3 player that you never turn off, i have little doubt my friend that you’re seeing the point i’m trying to make, that is the issue of the battery life.

Additionally there is the case of theft or carelessness that oftens bring about great misery in the owner, if i should ever lose my iphone, i would be losing both my phone and my mp3 player. That would be a great blow to me as i need the healing touch of music and the voice of my friends to smoothen my stress over hectic schedules.

Then there is the matter of the diversity and options i will be denying myself. Technology constantly grows, to think otherwise is foolhardy. Imagine if a yet more technologically advanced phone was to be released, as it surely would, the iphone would be left obsolete. Of course i’m aware that the iphone is plentiful powerful and has the ability to make use of the numerous apps to create diversity. But i speak of hardware limitation too, like the camera ? I love to take pictures and my handphone reflects that, opting always to go with the cybershot series. It just seems to me that if i get an iphone, i would be lessly likely to get a better phone since it is also intergrated with my mp3 player. I rather have my mp3 as my mp3 player and my handphone as my handphone.

Lastly It wasn’t a good idea to get an iphone then anyway, since the iphone 3G was coming out. I do not deny that the iphone did infact change things, as you might have noticed with brands like LG and phones like Arena, a lot more phones are have the same interface and touch-screen captabilities as the iphone, now i know touch screen has been around for a while, but honestly the designs of these phones are remarkable like a iphone but with more upgrades. That is what i’m trying to say you see, companies is copying the iphone and adding in much more incentives so that people will buy their phone and not the iphone. “

“Whatever la you very stupid la”

Speaking of ipod …

A compelling argument to get an ipod

Too bad it was obliterated though D=